Well, it's been awhile. Of course there's a lot to say, but The Big Update will have to wait for later. I'm feeling stimulated and this is me getting off.

There's a book of mine that I've quoted before: "The Good Orgasm Guide" written by British sex columnist Kate Taylor. She has a section about a fascinating phenomenon that I've experienced before: "When you act as if you were something, something weird happens to your brain and it actually starts to believe it's true."
Some time ago when I was still in college and going through a pretty rough time I got this advice out of a health magazine, specifically to "make yourself smile and before you know it, you'll actually feel happy". I remember trying out this technique as I stalked across the quad and I admit - it really really worked. I forced myself to wear that smile and, truly, within 5 or 10 minutes I was actually feeling happier and better about myself. I realized something else: other people really respond to you positively when you catch their eye and you're beaming a bright smile their way.

( This excerpt from Taylor's book really says it all )

My personal trick to making myself feel sexy when I'm really not feeling sexy is to imagine, whenever I'm cranky and feeling self-conscious, the naughtiest of my sexual experiences that I can think of and remember it in as much detail as I can. Almost immediately I find myself brandishing a sexy smirk (with an always-attractive bit of blush to my cheeks) and feeling like the sassy sexpot that I truly am!

At last, I leave you with this: WOW.

My baby's gone to Amsterdam. I don't have to wait long for him to return at this point (he's coming home tomorrow - on Halloween of all days) but I've missed him something fierce. Lucky for me, I have a very understanding lover and he's allowed me to cum whenever I want since we aren't in contact with each other for the duration of his trip. Unfortunately, I had my period until Friday and then I was at my parent's house for the weekend but the first chance I got last night to just kick back on the sofa and go at it, I did. And can I just say?
I love my Hitachi.
I think I've said this before, but I grew up masturbating with one of these things. My god, it always does the trick. Tonight I used it again, this time with the g-spot attachment. I couldn't help myself...I was thinking of him and I grabbed the big H...but it wasn't enough. The more I thought of him the more I needed something penetrating me, reaching brain-tingling depths. Of course, as amazing as the Hitachi is - attachment and all - it doesn't come close to how he feels inside of me, his arms and scent surrounding me...and NOTHING (no, my dear, not even my precious Hitachi) can compare to that thing he does with his tongue to my clit..."sucking" doesn't even describe it. All I know is that one flick from his tongue sends waves of electricity through my body and my insides just melt.
*shivers*
I can't wait for you to come home, my love. All I can think about is you...the mischievous twinkle in your blue eyes...the nape of your neck as I nestle my face next to yours and breathe in deep...the way your cock peeks out of your boxers as it gets hard, just before you plunge your massive member into my quivering, juicy pussy...the way you hold me so close to you as my voice cries out and my body shivers within your arms...

Come home quickly, lover. I'm waiting.

So things have been busy lately. Very busy. I have a new position assisting a matrimonial lawyer, which is VERY interesting...definitely more interesting than insurance defense work. I'm not sure this is an area of law I'd like to remain in, though because it can be pretty damn depressing. Over the last several days our priority has been a case involving spousal abuse and child abduction by the husband of one of our clients. Although it's not a high profile case by any means, this man is someone who is somewhat well-known in the indie music scene...well, rather, his band is. It's hard not to take this shit personally, you know, when all I really wanna do is tell everyone I know that the drummer from ___________ is a wife-beater and a child abductor. Of course I will do nothing of the kind for a multitude of both moral and self-serving reasons.

Aside from the occasional harsh reality of what two people who once loved each other can do to each other, it's a good job. I love my boss. She's a million times better than my last one - she's understanding and patient and encouraging...and I admit it's interesting working for a woman in a position of certain power. She definitely does very well for herself. She works hard but also maintains a healthy personal life, which I find to be a very admirable quality. I'm making more money as well and that's never bad. My hours aren't terrible either - i usually work from 10-6 although sometimes it's 9:30-5:30 and occasionally 10:30-6:30. I like the flexibility. And the later hours don't bother me either.

Living in the city is a bit harder to get used to than I expected. I think I'm mostly over all the noise and sirens (we're right next to a hospital), but I amm having a harder time adjusting to the massive public transportation system and increased amount of walking required of me in heels (although I do try to stay in flip flops for as long as possible, lol). I'm so used to just jumping in my car and being somewhere else, all the while in a nice and comfortable atmosphere (with personal space galore...as opposed to the cramped and sweltering confines of a subway car jammed with people pushed in like cattle). Yes. That I'm still getting used to.

Juicy bits to come...

I haven't had a lot of time to read LJ or update...mostly because of the new job I have and because of a fairly substantial change in lifestyle (moving from living with parents in the suburbs to living with my darling sex_blog in the city) that I've experienced recently. I was understandably reluctant to check this journal on my work computer until I knew what the deal was with employee surveillance but I'm fairly certain at this point that there is none, so my absence from this world should be remedied fairly soon. I have lots to say so stay tuned.

The Secret Language of Sleep, Sleep Pose Test
snagged from davidfcooper

Find your own pose!

How oddly accurate!
(I'm the koala...D is the tree because he has a bad back!)

My baby is miles away tonight visiting a friend across the country...but I've got my memories of our last two days together to keep me warm! GOD, I really have to pinch myself sometimes to remind myself how amazingly lucky I am to have such a voracious lover. To say that I'm having the best sex of my life would be such a massive understatement...

We didn't see each other a lot last week because I was sick from Sunday to Wednesday and he left for his trip on Friday. But the two nights we had each other...
Damn...

My darling had requested I be waiting for him in his favorite position - naked, kneeling, knees spread, my pussy displayed for him - when he returned home from work. Luckily for me, my lover is as understanding as he his horny! When I told him I was still feeling a bit sick, he took it in stride and just put his arms around me, held me and kissed me.

But I do NOT like to leave my man wanting. Later that night I felt much better...and as I led him to the bedroom, that look of pure hunger in his eyes confirmed how much he missed me. God, it was more than his look, though...it was way he caressed my ass so lovingly before turning the skin red with his hand....the way he teased open my juicy lips and pounded my pussy until I could barely stand it! He demanded I cum once, then again...and just as I reliquinshed all control over my body, slumping deeper into the bed in exhuastion with the thought it was all over, he flipped me over and started fucking me again! That look in his eyes...I didn't think I could go on, but his energy fed me and reignited my lust, compelling my hips to echo his rhythm. And again I came...with him this time.
How I adore the expression on his beautiful face as he pours his juices into me...

Perhaps it was the massive fuck-a-thon from the night before, but I was feeling significantly better the following day. And before you can ask, Yes. I most certainly took advantage of that fact! When D returned from work I was waiting for him - breasts pulled tight together in my red and black lace-up corset top, leather collar around my neck, my ready pussy bare and displayed.

My darling was most pleased! I pulled off his clothing and took his magnificent cock in my mouth, pushing it past my lips and deep into my throat. As usual, my selfless lover instructed me to slip my hand down to my clit as I sucked him off...and being the good little slut I am, I immediately obeyed! But D was as hungry for my juicy cunt as I was aching for his cock and he pulled me on top of him. There's nothing I love more than riding my gorgeous man like the fucking stallion he is...feeling him fill me completely as he swirls his hips and thrusts deeper than I've ever been entered by any man.
Once...
Twice...
Oh God, he makes me scream....longer and harder than I think I can stand it...so sensitive...shivering, tingling spasms running...everywhere. We came intensely...and collapsed in each other's arms.

So, in my previous post I mentioned the "mind clit" - a term that Bliatz appears to have coined - but I never actually linked to the post that really explains what the "mind clit" is...

It's pretty self-explanatory...

But it never hurts to clarify things, does it? Bliatz followed up on "tonguing the mind clit" in this post...

On several occasions I have said that I like quickies. And I do. Oh...I so do! I love the sudden command to give Kal a blow job in the bathroom or the urgent, spontaneous, naughty fucking in the workshop. It brings me to a state which I would call "ready to enter that particular head-space". But it doesn't get me there. I orgasm, but subspace is out of reach. One of the things we've learned from the experiment is that we often try to switch from our usual power balance to the dom/sub dynamic much too abruptly. If our D/s is to gain in depth and intensity, we need to give it more time. We need to pay more attention to detail. Because that is what it is all about.

...I need foreplay that is conducive to the exchange of power. I need foreplay that (slowly and systematically) stimulates the mind clit in order to make it swell and open the submissive soul – just as the clit can be nibbled and teased to prepare the pussy for penetration.

This is pretty much exactly what I've been talking about. For D and I, the extent of our D/s practices is not great. We are NOT 24/7, we just use certain D/s practices to enahnce our sex life. But like I've said, I still feel like I need a different kind of D/s foreplay to get me into that submissive mode. And as anonamouse said, "the best way to a girl's cunt is through her mind, so starting with words makes sense".

Now I know I'm cheating again, but Bliatz just says it so damn well! Here are some suggestions that I particularly like (and pardon the editing and additions, but we don't agree on everything!):

...[Tell] me I'm trying to pretend that I'm not really in the mood, and that I can stop doing that right away...because you know I am. Sluts always are. You'll have to make me admit what a whore I am... [Touch me, kiss me, lick me...] Softly at first. On my thighs and tits. Just to let me taste what's coming. Or what's not coming? Talk to me. Talk with me. React instantly if I act reluctantly. Drink some wine and look at my exposed pussy. Describe how slutty I look. Tease me a little with your tongue, then stop. Rub your cock on my cheeks and lips. Stroke yourself and make me look at it. Then stop. Tell me I'm [yours. That I'm your slut]. That you'll make me howl. Manipulate. Watch how the power shifts. Savor it. Give it time. And then, when it has, then the fucking can begin. Stop now and then to nurture the control. To show me the power balance and to make me confirm it. Make me confirm, repeatedly, that I am no longer in control.

Mmmmm. I'm really turning myself on right now. Between thinking about this and about all the amazing sex we're already having...lol. Um...more later! (And perhaps I'll even share some of the juicy details...)

So I've been thinking about it...and by "it" I am referring to what I was talking about in my last post - what kind of pre-sex dominant foreplay will work the best to get me into that particular kind of sexually submissive mind-set?

I'm realizing more and more that it's my "mind clit" - as Bliatz puts it - that needs to be stimulated in order to get me "feeling sexy to be sexy". When that mental clit is stimulated in advance, it's way easier for me to slip into the role of my lover's dutiful sex slave...because that's exactly what I want to be in that moment...

More to come on this later...

I've been feeling a bit too preoccupied to have lustful thoughts emerge on their own lately so I decided to sit down and finally catch up on some of the sex blogs I've neglected to read for way too long. 'Lo and behold, an entry on Bliatz's blog really struck a chord with me. She said, and I'm paraphrasing here, it's not submission that turns her on, it's dominance.

Let me say that again: She's not turned on by the submission, she's turned on by the dominance.

*expressive eye-opening gesture of OMG!*

Damn! I never realized it until I heard(/read) her say(/write) it, but I think I feel the exact same way...
She says "The feeling of submissiveness has to be created by dominance. It is complimentary."
"To kneel or to perform submissively without any previous exchange of power...leaves me cold."

Well, fuck. That's it. And that's probably the reason why an act of pure submission without any preceding dominant behavior feels off to me. Lover, I think I've figured it out! Now...let's dance!

Dammit! Trying to send my lover some naughty pictures but I can't find the camera cord! Thwarted!